


Phil's Littlest Pet Shop

by Fic_Request_Blog



Series: Avengers Drabbles [22]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Alternate Universe - Pet Store, Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-24
Updated: 2017-01-24
Packaged: 2018-09-19 11:56:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,470
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9439040
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fic_Request_Blog/pseuds/Fic_Request_Blog
Summary: The Littlest Pet Shop AU you never asked for (and neither did Coulson).A series of drabbles in this AU.





	

1: Ponderings

Sometimes, on particularly slow mornings as he stared out the bay window jutting over the busy New York sidewalks, Phil wondered why he ever started a pet shop.

It wasn't a childhood dream or even a special calling, it just sort of happened. Other times, when the bell over the door jingled and a little girl clutching at the hem of her mother's black, pressed skirt and a toy rabbit with buttons falling off shuffled in, eyes only lightening up at the twitch of pink noses, did Phil get it.

 

2: Nevermore, Please, Nevermore

He really, really disliked that bird. It just sat there, pecking at his back window. For hours. Phil had tried shooing it away, tried putting up scarecrows. Nothing worked. 

At some point he did try catching the thing, but that definitely didn't happen. He ended up with feathers in his hair and a cracked window.

He finally did just give up, letting it peck away. Somewhere along the line he started referring to the one-eyed raven as Fury because it was absolutely infuriating. 

 

3: The Wanted and the Unwanted

On a foggy, drizzling, cold, miserable morning Phil found Maria. Well, really the cat found him. She twined between his legs as he fumbled for his keys with numb fingers, striding into the shop when he forced the door open. She sat in the middle of the floor, staring at him as he opened the shop until he placed a bowl of food in front of her.

While checking on the rest of his animals, a particularly dry “meow” sounded from the back door. The cat peered at him, glancing at the door in front of her.

“Okay, okay.”

Wincing at the chill, Phil watched as she stepped out and trotted down the alley.

Well. Okay.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
The next day she was back again, this time with a friend.

“Fury?”

“Caw.”

The raven as perched on Maria’s shoulders, balancing as she sat next to the door expectantly.

“No, he is not coming into my shop.”

They didn’t move, just stared at him.

“Oh good grief, fine.”

 

4: Escape Artist

The geckos were fun. He sold them amazingly fast, so he bought more. Around the third batch, he realized he was missing one. Phil counted the little reptiles when they came in and obviously kept the number he sold, but he was one off.

What happened to it?

Yesterday he had the right number, so it must have gotten out.

After a few minutes of searching, his eyes landed on a green splotch firmly attached to his ceiling.

"There you are!"

He managed to snag the little guy with a ladder, softly scolding him all the way back to his terrarium.

Phil never could sell Jasper, he just kept escaping. At least he never actually lost him either. The gecko just apparently really liked that spot on the ceiling.

 

5: How Did it End Up Like This?

He bought the parrot because, who knows, maybe someone wanted a parrot in New York City.

He hadn’t realized it’d be like this.

“That’ll be $5.99.”

“At’ll be $5.99!”

“Thank you and have a nice day.”

“Ank and ave a nice day!”

As the bell tinkled he glared at the African Gray, fairly sure the customers all thought he was just a gimmick. Hopefully they didn’t think he wasn’t for sale because he was very, very for sale.

At first Phil had shoved him in the back, but the bird had literally screeched what he could hear of what Phil said anyways. It was just easier to have Clint right next to him.

 

6: Friendly Ferocity

The tarantula came in a package with four others, but by the third week, after he’d sold one, he somehow only had one left. 

Natasha was a beast. She was touchy and volatile with customers, raring up and sometimes even shedding at them. Apparently she’d become used to him because she was pretty nice to Phil for the most part. 

The weird thing was, she ended up in Clint’s cage all the time. He was insanely worried at first, but the bird evidently liked her because every once in a while she’d climb up onto his perch to sit on his claws.

He really had some weird pets in his shop.

 

7: Monkey-ing Around

The monkey wasn’t a good choice. Phil’s considered that pretty much every day.

The monkey was a terrible choice.

A girl, Ms. Potts, in her late teens needed a place to put him since her employers weren’t letting her keep him.

All he could really remember about that afternoon was this capuchin monkey, Tony, and a large keeper’s fee he would be receiving if he would house the thing for her.

He was pretty sure Tony wasn’t worth it, especially considering the stupid monkey got into hissing fights with Maria, even if he could pay off his mortgage two years in advance now. She’d gotten to the point where she wouldn’t walk past his cage because he could reach through the bars and yank on her poor tail.

To say their relationship was tense was a serious understatement.

Well, at least Ms. Potts came in nearly every week to see him. That tended to calm him down a bit, at least for a few days.

 

8: Voluntold

Thor. It was an odd name for a golden retriever. Phil ended up picking it up from the pound because of its enthusiasm. He was a beautiful dog, especially for a stray.

He was a bit loud though, as in he didn’t stop barking. Ever.

At some point Pepper mentioned that she had a friend who would love a dog like that, so the next week Phil had three girls giggling in his shop for over two hours, a Ms. Foster and her little sister Darcy accompanying Pepper.

They came in every week. Every week.

Phil was beginning to wonder if these three did anything but fawn over Tony and Thor.

“Alright you three, at least start doing some work around here. I’ve been needing some assistants anyways.”

“You ree! Keep coming! Do work! Needing assistants!”

He sighed, “Thanks, Clint.”

“Anks, Clint!”

 

9: Just For You

He has attempted to sell Steve exactly three times. It wasn’t that he was mean, far from it in fact. He was probably the sweetest rabbit Phil’s ever had the pleasure of owning. The big white fluff ball never fussed and usually Phil just let him hop around the store.

The problem was, he wouldn’t eat from anyone but Phil. The first time it happened the poor guy who’d bought Steve came running in, frantically asking what was wrong. Phil tried everything, new food, treats, just vegetables. Nothing he sent home was eaten. So he had Mr. Howard Stark bring Steve back and the second he held out a carrot, the silly rabbit nibbled it down. It happened twice more before he just exchanged Steve with another rabbit.

Mr. Barnes only lasted a day, too freaked to take a replacement. The lady that came in next was Phil’s last hope. Maybe Steve just didn’t like men? Maybe he’d eat from a lady? Sadly, Ms. Carter only had a marginally better outcome than the two men.

So Steve became the shop’s resident rabbit, like the resident stray cat, monkey, escape gecko, parrot, golden retriever, and tarantula. And maybe Phil took him home every night, but it wasn’t favoritism, he just wanted someone to warm his lap when he read in the evenings, really.

 

10: He's a Snap

Bruce was terrifying.

Not in the way Natasha was, but more in an explosive sort of way. Really, other than that, the snapping turtle was pretty docile. In fact, after the first few times Tony decided to ride around on his shell, he just completely mellowed out. Everyone seemed to get along pretty well with him.

Phil only got bit twice, and even then he just barely broke skin.

He wasn’t sure if he’d ever be able to sell a snapping turtle, but for now, at least it kept Tony out of his hair.

 

11: Motherfucking Snakes...

It seemed like absolutely none of his other animals liked the new king snake. Well, not including Thor, but the sheer animosity the snake had towards his poor golden retriever sort of made up for it. Actually, even Pepper, Darcy, and Jane didn’t like the snake.

And it would be a serious pain to get rid of him because the snake was incredibly mean. He’d already been bitten a fair number of times and he was sure those were only the start.

Well, at least Loki wasn’t poisonous. He was a lot more bark than bite, though that wasn’t saying much.

Phil just hoped the king snake wouldn’t cause any big problems.  



End file.
